One of the pleasures of life is to start the day with a strong cup of coffee in one hand and The Hindu on the other. But the dangers of such a practice was brought out today - scalding by spilling the hot stuff on a sensitive part of your anatomy, the coffee turning utterly bitter in the mouth, etc etc. For right in the front page was the news that caused me to convulse uncontrollably. Her Majesty the Queen , had sent her first tweet !
This blogger's vehement opposition to that abominable medium and contempt for "twits" is well know. He is well ware that 99.99999% of the world are in the opposite camp. But he consoled himself that a few dignified men and women of great stature, like Her Majesty (and himself !) had better taste and sense. Now he is somewhat perturbed that he may be the only dignified man standing.
Her Majesty's first tweet is a perfect example of the inanity of Twitter. She tweeted - "It is a pleasure to open the Information Age exhibition today at the @ScienceMuseum and I hope people will enjoy visiting. Elizabeth R." If there was a more useless piece of information, I am yet to see it. But to be reduced to having to sign Elizabeth Regina (I am sure you didn't know her second name). ...... What has the world come to.
In order to update himself on the useless stuff that so called celebrities tweet, this blogger spent a frustrating hour reading them. Here's a sample of recent tweets made by these worthies
Barack Obama - "Will you weigh in on
#Obamacare?" - he has some hope !
Narendra Modi - "Lot of things we can get to know by talking. Not only information but points of view" - What fantastic wisdom.
Shashi Tharoor - "I am donating them a biogas plant of 1tonne per day capacity" - So what.
Justin Bieber - "Life is about the journey :)" - Stunning discovery.
Shahrukh Khan - " I think Life, Movies & other such essentials, do start after 40!" - OK, you old man.
Neil degrasse Tyson (a leading astrophyicist) : "I wonder if social media atheists ever use "OMG". If so, they probably intended to type "OYG" - What a scientific insight
Sachin Tendulkar - "Wash your hands before every meal.... Spread the word on" - Ok mommy
Paris Hilton - "There's no place like home" - OK couldn't resist peeking into the tweets of the wisest lady in the world.
David Cameron - "I'm angry at the sudden presentation of a €2bn bill to the UK by the EU. It's an appalling way to behave and I won't be paying it on Dec 1st" - Have you heard a better rendering of the loudly squealing schoolboy ?
Angela Merkel - "Guten Morgen liebe BürgerInnen und einen schönen Sonntag! (Good morning dear citizens and have a nice Sunday) " Doesn't she have anything better to do on a Sunday morning ??
and, of course, our own blog king and commenter extraordinare
Congoboy - "I swear, it peed on me." - OK; that one was below the belt, but I can't resist needling Congoboy. Its an actual tweet by him though !
What a colossal waste. Of all the useless, inane , pointless, drivel in the world, 99% can be found on this monstrosity called Twitter.
So having tweeted her first tweet, what is the Queen going to follow it with. Here are a few helpful suggestions
- Pip Pip
- Oh dear, my foot aches
- Coochie Coo George
- Oh God, do I have to get up and go to another boring function ?
- Toodle oo
PS : This post is at the request of my dear friend, fellow blogger and commenter, "Nancy" who made the request commenting on the previous post !