Saturday, 27 July 2013

This is not a lascivious post !

Does man (and woman) have a foot fetish ? I think so. What is it about feet that makes people get completely bowled over by the marketers and pamper and cosset it. No I'm not talking about the ridiculous pedicure. I'm talking about footwear and the amounts we splash on it.Each one of us is an Imelda Marcos - before you snigger, go and count the footwear in the shoe rack.

Hyperbole dominates the footwear marketing industry. To think that by wearing "LeBron Zoom Soldier", I'll be able to dunk a basketball is pure fantasy, but it appears I am willing to buy the dream for $299 or thereabouts.  The sight of a Rajalakshmi tottering on high heels on the mistaken assumption that it makes her a 6 footer is equally humorous - I don't have the heart to tell her that her width is somewhat more than her height ! But surely the game has been taken to an altogether new level by Under Armour.

Under Armour is a sports outfit company. They mostly make sports clothing, shamelessly exploiting our fascination with looking good on the sports field about which I ranted here. Their footwear division is still small - so to pump up sales of footwear, they have hit upon the idea of a "bra for your feet" !!!

Apparently its made in a bra factory in China. It features a "cup" for your heel that is without any stitching. The whole shoe is "seamless".  It has a great fit and feels "smug". It feels like " a second skin". Multicolour no less. Can you please part with $150; thank you !

It has also been advertised that the equipment is built for linear motion, rather than horizontal jumping. I am not sure whether this advice has also been inspired by the concept it is trying to borrow from !

Under Armour's Senior Creative Director of Footwear (how does that sound on your business card) explained the concept with much delight and puns galore, but I think even he missed the delicious irony of this statement ; "Prototyping mostly took place in China at the bra factory for a more hands-on approach" !!

I must say I was much intrigued when I read all this. I am not sure I want to wear a bra on my feet, but perhaps there are some weird males who might relish the idea. Although I am not sure that its an aspirational thing - you might want to feel like Michael Jordon, wearing Air Jordan, but wearing one of these ...... Perhaps the aspiration is that its "eye catching" although as any sensible male will tell you, its not the covering, but what's inside that counts- the feet I mean :)

The more knowledgeable on these matters (women, I presume) might sneer saying that the shoe absolutely will not fit - given that its inspiration is also  notorious for that problem. And the damn thing always has a tendency to show, when it would have been far better to be discreet. And Yes,  I know that "Burn the Bra" was a 60s thing; but if it does catch the fancy again, what would happen to Under Armour shoes.

I am delighted to say, that for those of you who are captivated by the idea, you can order it for delivery in India too. The new revolutionary product is not yet on their online store, but it will soon be. And when you order, remember to specify Size 9.  If instead, you mention a large double digit with two alphabets after it, the store will not believe you :)


Vincy said...

Oh Ramesh this post is not lecherous one. you said so in the title right. but i guess the picture is a bit provocative after reading the post or is it me ha ha ...

I laughed out almost aloud at the not so subtle pun that you intended in multiple places. Loved this one.

Foot fetish and the number of shoes - no comments on that. but a bra for a feet for men - sounds crazy!!!

Sriram Khé said...

Reminds me of my disbelief, way back in 1987 when I was a first year grad student in Los Angeles. My roommate asked me whether I wanted to go with him to the auto part store to buy a car bra. I thought that was a code for something, but went along anyway.

All along I had known of a certain female anatomy being referred to as headlights, and this car bra really went over the headlights. I figured, "only in America!"

So, after all these years of life in the US of A, well, I have come to realize that nothing is impossible. You say foot bra, well, my only thought is where are the headlights?

This is what happens when societies become rich, I suppose.

And, yes, like Vincy noted, good job with all that double entendre. Or, rather the DD entendre ;)

Ramesh said...

@Vincy - Crazy idea, right ! But who knows - may work.

Just some idle Saturday night mischief; all in jest :)

@Sriram - Aha - you live in a country acutely affected by mazophilia !

Shachi said...

The sight of Rajalakshmi tottering on high heels has me LOL!

I read your post on pedicure....oh what lovely comments. I love pedicures....never got one until 5 years ago, but now I look forward to them. It's not so much about the nails or the polish.....for me, its more about the massage. And usually, I find a girlfriend to go with, so it's a gossip date. After kids, I go to have some quiet time where I usually doze off midway through the massage :).

I have not been able to go even once this year....maybe I'll find time and go tomorrow! Thanks for the motivation :)!

Ramesh said...

@Shachi - Oh - have a wonderful time at the spa - Pedicure, Manicure, Facial, Massage, Aromatherapy, whatever, whatever - spend a whole day - you deserve the pampering !

Vishal said...

Wow... that sounds like a crazy range of products. Here is a product for aspirants trying to emulate Usain Bolt. Good luck!!

By the way, going by the logic - form is temporary and class is permament - I can ONLY imagine that the natural things do last longer and better :) LOL!

Asha said...

I use skechers walking shoes and it comes with in built sandbags to cushion my heels. I will tell you why?

Before that, has any high heeled rajalakshmi in black om pants stepped on your foot? where? at the pedicure spa, yoga studio or at the basket ball court? where tell...tell:) No, wonder you have taken a dig at her in all the 3 posts. yes, i read all your 3 posts and alerting you about this long comment:)

First this post.AS always, I don't know about this brand of shoes,(infact they are colorful and could put a rainbow to shame) unless you, the 'sarvagna' write. Sarvagna in kannada means one who knows everything :)

I don't have to tell you that different shoes for different sport helps. This is one of my indulgences for my children for cosmetic reasons as well as functional reasons. definitely nothing wrong with airjordan if it can cushion your feet while jumping up to dunk the football and definitely studs to make the soccer moves. I buy them for my son. (though i am not brand conscious)

Now to my story, I am a pretty brisk walker and used to clock 4kms in 40 minutes. My friends used to call me express walker. But an accidental twist some 5 years back while walking tore my ankle ligment.I was in a walkable cast for 4 weeks and it took pretty long for me to even stand or walk normally after 10 minutes. I had pain in the heel and foot in general. No normal Power,nike or adidas helped. That is when i got a sketchers which has sand bags. The sole connects to the heel and in turn connects to the entire back which supports the spine. Now after 5 years, i can even sprint, though i keep my age in mind and just go for a long stride walk and i can walk 'n' number of kms tirelessly with sketchers and also i am flat footed so Dr. Scholls are designed that way to accomodate special feet like ours:)

Regarding pedicure, arrey.... even pet dogs in my colony go. Their parlour is called 'nails and tails' and another called 'pawprints'. So, why not we men and women too indulge, infact a pedicure is therapautic, they work on all the acu points on the sole. That reminds me it is more than a year i went for one. Try a pedicure and you will never regret.

And Pl. give me the link for the panchakaccham kasi yatrai photo. Want to check out:)

Deepa said...

ROFL!! 'a bra for your feet' was calling for a post like this from you. Felt like eves-dropping on boys talk at the water cooler. Hil hil hilarious !

Ramesh said...

@Vishal - Nice one - form is temporary; class is permanent.

@Asha - Aha - I seem to have instigated a whole clutch of women to go for pedicure !!! I should demand a commission !

Yes of course - shoes for each sport as well as special shoes for foot conditions. That's completely warranted. But purely for cosmetics ???

Don't even know how to tie a panchakaccham !!! Been on a few kasi yatras, but alas for business wearing a trouser and polished shoes !!!

@Deepa - :) By the way boys don't talk such stuff at water coolers. They are busy rubbishing the boss !

Deepa said...

@Ramesh- Just like you have done ur homework on what women talk abt (ref: the fitting ordeal of the unmentionables) i have done mine too! :) :) if not the water cooler then definitely the tea/smoke break!

Ramesh said...

@Deepa - Ha Ha. Touche !

Sandhya Sriram said...

Aah Ramesh - when i read the article in the paper, the last expected was a post from you on the topic. I am flabbergasted with the spread of what you can talk about.

Now about foot wear in the wardrobe - why dont you wear the same shirt every day. and why should your trouser match your shirt. well there is an overall look and feel - as they say _Aal padi, aadai padi - footwear is a part of it. especially for Rajalakshmi's who are quite colorful (unlike the black and white counterparts) and need to match up.

In other parts of the world, i have seen people store different types footwear under their office desk as they have to battle difficult weather outside and normally cannot experiment on footwear, they keep a whole set matching to garments in office. atleast we rajalakshmis are better that way.

Now coming to the subject of the post, the one piece that you are missing is that Rajalakshmi's are the ranganathan street category and hence not your target audience.

Maybe, these are for those "George Bushs" - The ramarathinam's counterpart who believe that fancy nick names, trendy costume and french beards can outsmart hard work.

Ramesh said...

@Sandhya - Oh - I never accused only the female of the species for footwearexcessitis ! The male is as bad :)

And no elitism in this place. Ranganathan Street varieties are included in the "accusations". If they come up with as interesting a variation as Under Armour, I shall blog about that too !!

By the way, how does any person enter Ranganathan Street without getting completely squashed ??

Anonymous said...

LOL!! I'll wait for Victoria's Secret's line of shoes :)
- Rajalakshmi

Sriram Khé said...

I am with Asha--I want to see a photo of Ramesh in the panchakaccham kasi yathrai deal ...

Ok, seriously, I am with Asha on the difference a shoe makes.

At my daughter's wedding, which was a couple of years ago, I was trying hard not to limp around--turned out I needed better walking shoes.
The doctor suggested that I go to a real shoe store where experienced people measure the feet size, and match up shoes with my usage. I followed those instructions, went to a family-owned local shoe store, and the older man--50 years of experience in the trade--brought me a pair of Teva shoes. I have been in walking heaven since.
Prior to the Costa Rica trip, I went there to pick up sandals,and Teva again.

Can't wait for the seamless Teva bra, er, shoe, in FLAMING RED, which will be better than the cliched red sports car and a trophy Rajalakshmi for my midlife crisis!!!

Ramesh said...

@Anon aka Rajalakshmi - Ha Ha

@Sriram - Really ???? Is there one person in this world who doesn't want the cliched red sports car ??? Can understand the disregard for the trophy Rajalakshmi though !!

Reflections said...

After reading many of ur posts I feel like I'm hiding under a rock in the bottom of the garden...bra for ur feet, coool eh;-D.
These hols I almost got a heart failure when my friends son proudly announced his shoes cost rs.14,500....seems like it records ur heartbeat when u work out and can do many more such techno stuff;-o.

Ramesh said...

@Reflections - Wait till N Sr and N Jr grow up as teenagers ....... :):):)

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