Sunday, 20 June 2010

Clothes maketh the man

This blogger is prone to swings of a sartorial nature in the Sunday posts. Considering that he is a recipient of several "Worst Dressed" awards, this is a tad curious. But then you can hardly answer tags that ask “what are you wearing ?” (a matter of sublime importance to the fairer sex), in a non sartorial way. And if you have strong views on the necktie (aired here) and on that horrible abomination that Indian ladies wear (aired here), then perhaps it is inevitable that such a matter finds its way into this blog.

This post is instigated by one of the most awful sights in the football World Cup in South Africa. No its not the vuvuzelas, awful though they are. No its not the utter depths that the England football team has descended to. It’s the sight of Diego Maradona in a suit !

I have long been intrigued by what is worn on the sports field. When you play, or coach, or do whatever, on a sports pitch, you ought to look elegant. But its amazing how many manage to dress in something utterly comical. Take tennis, which is the game with probably the worst displays of them all. Pride of place goes to Pete Sampras, who played divine tennis, but in a striped kachcha (an underwear that some Indian men are sometimes seen lounging around in). And that too in the hallowed Centre Court , where the Duke and Duchess of Kent lord over, impeccably dressed. And the women players specialize in wearing silly outfits that purely cater to somebody with an underwear fetish.

Or take the sport of snooker. Pray, why does anybody have to wear a bow tie while playing ?? The silliest sight today, in any setting, is an old gent in a bow tie; and then they make young snooker players wear that awful contraption, But then what can you expect from a sport, where their idea of injecting sex appeal is to have one lone female referee ! Or take American football. Huge hulks wearing tight fitting flimsy trousers is not a sight for sore eyes. Take even cricket. Pajamas have been, alas, accepted for a long time ( where did that era go when gentlemen dressed in impeccably starched whites played cricket), but do they have to be green at the top and red at the bottom (Gils please note).

But football is a curious case of complete anachronism. The payers are OK – decent shorts and decent tops. But the managers ?? Dressed most inappropriately in a suit. Football managers are prone to pacing up and down the sideline, yelling obscenities, questioning the parentage of the referee, making theatrical shows of despair at a miss and utterly comical celebrations at a goal. You can’t do that in a suit, for gods sake. The sight of Maradona hugging and kissing Lionel Messi dressed in one of Saville Row’s finest, is enough to put me off football forever.

But then there are some small mercies. These days women are making their entry into one of the last male bastions – football. The day when a woman football manager emerges is not far off. The very thought of a salwar kameez clad football manager doing all of the afore described actions is enough to make me tremble with sheer terror. I can even swallow the sight of the sartorial extravagances of Maradona.

But then, Diego, just do us a favour. Please. Wear something a little more in keeping with you. We’ll give you a toot on the vuvuzela for that !


Anonymous said... parunga thala...athuvum IPL season pathirukanum neenga...Pretty zinta bear hugging yuvi and co for each victory...hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! no wonder IPL survived 3 seasons :D

Anonymous said...

and while we are on that..i am the king of bad dressing. u cant swoop in and take that title from me :)

ambulisamma said...

LOL! A humor post for a sunday.
@ gils: Green hirt and red pant?

le embrouille blogueur said...

Will swing by later to get Sunday treat ..meanwhile you have an award from me .. !!

Ramesh said...

@Gils - Gilsu - you have to become a cricket player gilsu. Play for Chennai Veerans and score a 50. Asin will come and give you a similar hugggggggggggggg :)

@Ambulisamma - :)

@blogueur - Thanks very much. Leaving a comment there.

zeno said...

Well you never know, there might be some females, who felt(els) Maradono looks so hot in the suit ;)
SK or sari or suit, it all not only depends on who wears them, how they wear it, but also on who sees them and how they see it![remember beauty depends on the eyes of the beholder!]

Ramesh said...

@zeno - Any "female" who agrees with zeno, please shout !! Sure beauty is in the eye of the beholder but comedy is strictly in the hands of the wearer :)

Sandhya Sriram said...

in a span of 4 hours yesterday, i changed into 3 attires. landed in a jean into kerala (where our family diety temple is), changed into a fully decked silk saree and left for the bus station in well ahem your favourite attire, the salwar kameez

i always wonder why when it comes to attire, appropriateness and convenience are always on the opposite direction. According to me, Salwar is the most convenient attire, but Ramesh considers it inappropriate :-(

i think these are notions which we have created. If PC can present the union budget in a veshti - sattai, then what is this fuss all about.

guess, over a period of time, we as a society have introduced our bias into clothing (like the way you are introducing into Salwar) and it has taken manifold implications over a period of time.

So it is biassed people like you who are to blame. Now how is this googly :-)

RS said...

Oh, the dress post again!! Completely support Sandhya's argument that the salwar is the most comfortable dress for us.

LOL at Gils representing the CSK.

By the way, Ramesh, even green top and red trousers are ok, think of a lustrous dress with a design similar to that of Rammmm's circle crop field. You'll stop watching sports that very day:P

Deepa said...

Hehehe! As if the pyjamas were not enough in cricket, the IPL uniforms are taking it to the next level. Whoever thought of the maroon and golden uniform!

See, salwar kameez is much safer than any attire to handle any degree of boisterousness. Imagine someone in a Saree. Skirts can be extremely dangerous if you are not in a position to mind them every second. Trousers, well they can pass off too, but nothing like the freedom of movement in SK. :D

Ramesh, either you are an extremely good student or you are lucky to find all good teachers or both! That 'hugggggggg' on Gilsu's reply is a live testimony to your improvement in uber coolness! ;-)

zeno said... look what telegraph has to say on Maradona style guide ;)

Notion, bias it all depends on the conditioning of the mind. Something in me tells, before all the females started rooting for SK, there would been a larger section of females, who would have considered SK to be inappopriate[w.r.t South Indian view].At some tipping point, it would have become the universal dress code

J said...

You are never going to live down your salwar kameez post :D

Anyway, apparently his daughters asked Maradona to wear a suit. So maybe he was just being a indulgent dad rather than a wannabe fashion icon :)

Vinod said...

Sir Ji - i wish to digress from the issues of underdressed or rather dressed poorly dressed sportspersons and comment on the sport itself - hope you watched the Brazilian magic on the field yesterday against the Ivory Coast - simply great football by both teams, but eventually the best team won.Poetry in motion. Unfortunate that Kaka was red carded for retaliation inspite of being kicked and felled all along the match by the great Africans.

Similar show by Portugal today - they drubbed DPR Korea 7-1 !! Totally one sided game on the 2nd half even though the Koreans put up a fair game on the first half.

The CUP is becoming interesting and the league roundsa re still yet to get over.Like Shakira says - "This time for Africa!" ...Maybe?

Ramesh said...

@Sandhya - Nice try, but you can't convince me. Comfort is no arguement. In Chennai weather, the most comfortable male attire is a kachcha and a banian. That doesn't mean a man can go to office in it !

@RS - See earlier remark on the comfort argument ! OMG if crop circle patterns emerge, I swear I shall abandon sport for good !

@Deepa - Ditto remark to Sandhya's comment. Comfort is no solace. Oh yes, I am being taught by eminent luminaries such that my cool quotient is rising !!

Ramesh said...

@zeno - You are amazingly widely read ; every link you suggest is a gem. Thanks so much.

@J - Wow that is news; I had no clue. For a person not interested in sport, that's amazing knowledge. DA to the core ! Well, if his daughters said so, then he can be excused.

@Vinod - I have actually been a trifle disappointed with the football. Still nothing to set the heart racing - with the possible exception of Argentina. More of the drabness that now characterises European football competitions. The fact that matches are real late night in China, does not add to the mood. Hope it changes from the knock out stages.

Vinod said...

Now we know who you support ;-)I am die hard self proclaimed Brazil fan!Viva Brazil!

Ramesh said...

@Vinod - Oh no, I am a Brazil fan too. After all every neutral fan supports Brazil. Its just that in the matches so far Argentina have been the more entertaining of the sides. But then entertainment and winning have rarely gone together.

kiwibloke said...

Well. Nothing beats a nice black suit, a dazzling white shirt a silk power tie possibly with a lot of red,good leather (shoes belt and wallet) a dash of Baldesserin I(preferrably Del Mar), a good simple swiss watch a pair of aviator glasses,a black and gold cufflinks! Kachcha may be comfortable but power dressing is chic

Vishal said...

Ramesh - Great one for a Sunday post. Your humor is out of this world. Just mind blowing.

It is absolutely comical to see those coaches in suit. I often wondered why do they do that. I thought Dunga was still better in a black jacket.

Ramesh said...

@Kiwi - OMG. I can picture you in that outfit, but a passing resemblance with a mafioso might be an occupational hazard of "power" dressing !

@Vishal - Yeah; there has been some media coverage of Dunga's dressing as well. Managers are trying to become celebrities by themselves !

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