Sunday, 22 May 2011

Why, on earth, a pedicure ?

This post is a vain rant against the female invasion , nay takeover, of the street barber. Evidence of the extreme intellectual rigour of this blog. Needling fair ladies, who throng this space :) is an occasional pastime of this blogger. Considering that its been a while since the opposite sex was needled here, and considering his rather impish mood today, its time to risk life and limb again.

There was a time, not so long ago, when the barber down the street was exclusively a male preserve. Indian women of that vintage, let their hair down (literally, but never, figuratively) and had no use for that specimen, who had the artistry of a butcher.  Men could go there in peace and submit themselves to the shears, while engaging in discussions exclusively masculine in nature. Alas , no longer.

The blasted guy has metamorphed into a 'unisex salon". Or a "spa", Or a "beauty therapist". I understand none of these words and had to look them up. These places are now well on their way to being a 99% female preserve, with the poor male consigned to a single seat near the loo. While the men queue up for 2 hours to gain the attention of the solitary guy who condescends to cater to men (did that yesterday; hence this post !), various Rajalakshmis breeze in and out, for all sorts of "beauty treatments". I had the urge to quip that their beauty would be better served by a few hours in the gym rather than here, but then wisely refrained given the substantial body mass disadvantage that I have.

And what all do they do in this place. I shall desist from graphic description of what  goes on - suffice to say that seeing a Rajalakshmi in that state is enough to drive men off the female species forever. But what completely boggles me is the pedicure.

Why on earth would any woman want to tend to her toenails ? I once asked this question to a lady , while offering the brilliant insight that a male would never bring his eyes down to look at her feet, he being preoccupied at a rather higher level. She looked at me pityingly and gave me an even more brilliant insight. She disabused me entirely of the notion that women are in the least interested in looking pretty to a man. Apparently they are strictly in the business of catching the eye of other women (perhaps with a hint of jealousy). Ah; I never realised that before (male ego completely deflated).

So the pedicure rules supreme. Cut your nails. Soak your feet in water, Apply some goo. Get your feet tickled. And dump a whole wad of cash for that privilege. Eeks.

Yes, I know. Women are from Venus. 

PS : Comments to the effect that "metrosexuals" also indulge in this abomination are entirely unacceptable on the grounds that they are not members of homo sapiens masculinitis.


  1. I think you are forgetting many aspects of equally mind boggling male grooming. wearing ties (can you tell me what purpose does it serve) or more so a cufflink... you think thats gonna impress the opposite species. what about 100 Dollar Shirts of which only cuffs and collars are seen outside the shirt.

    ok, lets come to grooming... i am not sure whether men really believe that all that what they say in these deo ads are true, deos i thought was meant to keep unwanted scents off, not to Choke fellow travellers on a lift

    and then, a little piece of beard, oh i wonder, what torture can that undergo, it gets cut to the size of a bug sometimes, i would have thought it was a bug almost picked up a newspaper to hit it off. and then the hair going in all directions - making all forms of animals jeleous from guerillas to porquipines and even when the hair gets annoyed with all the styling and falls off, they dont let them be and run after hair weavers.

    I think men keep stylists and beauticians equally busy. Just coz you are of that unassuming, down to earth, amazingly simple and yet a heart throb of a many, you should assume yourself represetative of the species.

    PS: You know what - i just skipped a pedicure appointment today to watch rcb vs csk. and pedicure really helps. maybe i can tell you in person someday :-)

  2. Sandhya Sriram22/5/11

    sorry just a typo -

    I meant You arent representative of the species at all...

    given that i anyway logged in again, i add a corollory

    You arent representative of any of the existing species of all of us... much beyond a hero... and given that i am the first to comment.... now i throw another contest open for your readers.

    Thanks to Deepa - We nicknamed you "Thiru Kung Tzu"

    Now the readers suggest an attire or a grooming that suits you best!!

    Host Entry: Veshti, White Shirt - P Chidambaram Style.

    the most appropriate grooming suggestion wins a surprise prize - sponsor - Ramesh :-)

  3. I don't think you needle them occasionally! Or may be your definition of occasionally is different.

    Yeah but so true, Females do most of things for the sake of other females!

    I am also sure there would be lots of other things in the venus world which would boggle us and drive us off!

  4. But for that we should see his so called "body mass disadvantage??"

  5. een sir, unkalukuthaan ethanai kushi antha 'intellectual species'-ya vambukku illukirathula!

  6. @Sandhya 1 - Nice riposte, but you have to make a full post on it ....

    @Sandhya 2 - OMG. No No please !!! Me and sartorial innovation ?? No match there.

    @zeno - Ha Ha. Can get a sense of BMI by the fact that one of my nicknames was "wire".

    @Venkat - What to do ? Minor pleasures in life .....

  7. wow..i thot u ver talking abt dog food in this swami gilsananda wud say "nagathuku paint adikanumna self help will do aana sevuthuku paint adikanumna painter vachaa thaan workout aagum"..dont ask for the meaning of the saying..swamiji is allergic to violent death esp caused by amazons.

  8. now wat wud be a gud costume for thalaivar....hmmm...nothing to beat the gud ol panchakacham and anga vassshthiram with one kostin mark kambu on hand...sandhya madam...otha vida oru better "groom"ing costume irukka mudiyuma? ;)

  9. @Sandhya 3- As for the tie, I actually did a post on it a while ago. Here it is.

  10. @Gils 1- Swami Gilsananda's sayings must be compiled and published in a book.

    @Gils2 - Avalavu thondu kazham illai thalaivare !!! :):)

  11. Sandhya Sriram22/5/11

    @ Swami Gilsananda - onga gilsopedia copy enga keedaikum...

    Kamba vechu ellam thalaivaru odhai koduka mattaru - avaru romba nallavaru - what say "Thalaivar"!!

  12. oops...neenga rendu perum nan sonna situationa maathi purinjintel...kaasi yaathirai costume in kalayanams will resemble wat i tried suggesting :)

  13. neenga thaana grooming pathi keteenga..aathaan groom costume podalaamnu sonen :)

  14. @Gils - Oho Gilsu; was only trying to pull your leg. Kasi yatraikku poren saar. appropriately attired !!!

  15. Fancy you writing this one with the intention of needling us ladies and your picture depicts a 'man' getting a pedicure and that too from the days of yore! :) Looks like we are in this together. :)

  16. kiwibloke23/5/11

    Ha ha, never bought a shampoo, conditioner, comb, various potions and lotions for the head or visited a barber for the last 10 years. It was a NZ$20 investment in a Remington hair trimmer with Number 1 hair trimming guide (cuts to 1mm length) Ever since it's a 30 second lawn mowing exercise on my head every Sunday. Comes out clear. (So much loyalty to an employer of the past where I used to sell tonnes and tonnes of shampoos and conditioners!)

  17. Ha..ha..ha..
    I guess it is the same/similar reason why the species masculinitis would go to a service station to wax their cars. Guys pay a handful for it although they can do it themselves, to impress other men ( as the line of sight of the females stop with the owner and may be a little on the comfort inside, but would not really bother if the car was as shining or not) and gives them that great feeling of goodness sometimes accompanied with a stupid smile too. I am seeing the same effect here!
    The ties and the cuflinks are pathetic replacements to some nice accessories that females get away with, to show off...
    And the picture of the man having a pedicure says it all...looks like you have sort of defied your logic here, Sir!

  18. @Deepa - The picture was deliberately put there to provoke precisely this comment !!

    @kiwi - You took the radical option. Brave you :):)

    @hema - Good try, but there's no way a pedicure can be compared to waxing the car. And the picture - well, that was simply to provoke you and Deepa into that comment :):)

  19. Glad that the comment on the picture has served its purpose of humoring you.:-)
    And the analogy cannot be diapproved just because you say so, Prof.
    Your case is dismissed due to lack of evidence and hence we shall hold on....nay...conclude that the two cases under discussion are similar.
    Any comment in your defence from now on shall be treated as a fresh argument. Amen :-):-)

  20. Picturea paathaa, neenga china'vula balconyla ukkanthu pedicure panna mathiriyeee irukku...

  21. @hema - You are a formidable debater madam :):) No chance for an amateur such as me !!!

    @venkat - Slight problem. I''m not a vellaikaran :):)

  22. U might want to add in every species men are really good looking / handsome / beautiful as they are - they dont need accessories :P

    And I loved sandhya's comment, right on response :)

  23. @Sri - Those objectives are certainly applicable for Sri :):)

  24. After reading the title of this post, I very much anticipated that you are inviting troubles... ;) by now you have played it safe and there seems no injuries ;)

    Even if say that women are interested in looking pretty to a man, how on earth would man be interested to know how much of effort has gone behind it and whether those efforts have helped increase her B(eauty)Q.

    As a matter of fact, beauty lies in simiplilicty multiplied by happiness.

  25. Oh no...not at all. You are such a formidable writer!! I was just having some fun at the pretext of the needling :-)

  26. When I saw the topic, thought you would have the women up in arms, and yep they are.

    Had a experience at a unisex salon recently. Blew a few litres worth of petrol to get my hair snipped. :-)

    You shouldn't poke fun at the activities of the females, after all they are known to have elephantine memories and can pay you back one fine day, 15 years, 2 months and 7 days later. :-)

    Maybe you have a freebie coupon coming your way for a pedicure, and I expect you go, and then there will be a pean to that in a future post. :-) :-)

  27. @Vishal -You are going to get clobbered by the lovely lady. You always have to assume that huge effort has gone behind the looks.

    @hema - He He. Love duelling with you.

    @RamMmm - 15 years etc etc is too far down the line. So safe for the moment. If I get a coupon for pedicure, I shall promptly gift it to you to pas on to Senora !!

  28. You make me long for the good old days of spa indulgences - after kids I am happy if I don't turn into a complete slob. But I don't see why you think we women should get defensive about pampering ourselves. If women have figured out how to enjoy some comforts of life then power to them :) I think all this is just jealously because you don't think you can enjoy these things without being called a metrosexual. If that's the tradeoff, I recommend you make peace with being a metrosexual - it is worth it ;)

  29. @J - Ughghghghghghghggh !!

  30. Sandhya Sriram28/5/11

    Since not many of you have taken to the suggestion of the recommending an appropriate attire for Ramesh and the majority recommendation is for Veshti (whether panjagajam or normal is ramesh's choice), we hope we will get to see a picture of Ramesh with Veshti on tommorrow's sunday post.....

    come on - Ramesh - be a sport. dont disappoint all us pedicured women who throng your webspace :-)

  31. Hahahahaaaa u r just too much Ramesh. But for a change I loved the comment section equally, every single argument I was working on was already posted above with more masala in it than I cd have thot of;-D[].

    But somewhere kuch jalne ki boo aa rahi hai;-D

    p.s: SS's comment ..."a little piece of beard, oh i wonder, what torture can that undergo, it gets cut to the size of a bug sometimes, i would have thought it was a bug almost picked up a newspaper to hit it off...."
    Ooooh I'm rolling on the floor and laughing, hooooohoooohooooo;-D

  32. @Reflections - Hoooohooohooo :):)

  33. Anonymous20/9/11

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