Sunday, 2 October 2011

Improve your gluteus maximus

Do you wish to improve your gluteus maximus muscle. If so , please buy Reebok Easy Tone shoes. Alas, you should have done it before Sep 30. Because on that date, the Federal Trade Commission poured cold water on gluteus maximus fans by ruling that the shoes didn't do much for that famous muscle. 

If you are flummoxed by the Latin, don't run away. The rest of this post is in plain English. Reebok has been advertising for two years that Easy Tone shoes helped you get a firmer butt. Apparently this was endorsed by no less a person than Kim Kardashian, who is reputed to be having  that redeeming virtue. I wouldn't have known who this worthy was, until she got married to Kris Humphries, a NBA wannabe, who I certainly know about. Kris could have confirmed or denied the anatomical virtue of the said lady, but he has so far chosen to remain silent, so we shall let that pass.

Reebok has reached a $25m settlement with the FTC for misleading advertising, which Reebok has decided to pay without admitting any guilt. Presumably the ladies in the FTC did not manage to firm up their butts despite wearing Easy Tone, but the ladies in Reebok did. No evidence has been presented to attest to either claim.

I would have thought that any connection between a running shoe and a shapely butt, could be tenuous at best, and that there might be far more important factors that determine the contours of your posterior. But then , it appears that a lot of women bought the idea that they could wolf down five Big Macs, wash it down with 4 cans of Coke and still be tops in the butt department by wearing Easy Tone. Now they will reportedly be compensated by Reebok for having been misled. 

What intrigued me by this story, was that Harbans Kaur in Delhi has also been captivated by this Western phenomenon of obsession with  butts. Apparently Easy Tone shoes were being sold in the Connaught Place outlet of Reebok in Delhi and some 80 women have bought these shoes at some Rs 5000 a piece. Now, anybody with knowledge of India, would readily agree that firmness is a minor quality compared with massiveness. Athleticism is not a redeeming virtue in Harbans Kaur's eyes and  a ponderous gait is more common than a sprightly step. So Reebok's success of selling a massive two pairs of Easy Tones a day in Connaught Place is surprising indeed. Alas, the 80 worthy ladies have no recourse as yet with Reebok. The FTC ruling was only for the US. That eminent organisation has presumably decided that  Easy Tone shoes did nothing for American butts but were perfectly acceptable for non American ones.
Kim Kardashian's Indian equivalent, I have learnt, is one Shazahn Padamsee, whose claim to fame I believe is that she acted in Dil to Bachcha Hai Ji. Needless to say, I am equally clueless about her as I am with her American counterpart. To feature in the Easy Tone campaign, Ms Padamsee must also be blessed with an extremely strong gluteus maximus. Perhaps some reader can comment on the truth, or otherwise, of this.

You have to give the last word to Harbans Kaur. One member of this clan apparently said  "I use it daily for morning walk. I don't have much idea as to whether it has led to toning or not but it is very comfortable to wear."  

Nobody can accuse Madam Kaur of lack of common sense.


TheMillionMiler said...

ha ha ha LMAO (Pun unintedned)
On a serious note how different is this 'reputed' company from the roadside charlatan who promises quick cures for all kinds of ailments and disease. I also know of fabulous consumer product companies who have 'new, enriched, stronger' dishwash with "Lemon" (about 3 drops in a batch of 2000kg of detergents) or the OTC pharma companies who have all minerals from A to Z (I can only think of Arsenic and Zinc), perhaps one molecule of each mineral for every million tons they make. Is there a very thin line between marketing and cheating?

gils said...

rotfl :D :D :D bagyaraj script padicha epect :D :D

Appu said...

BOSS, whatay writing whatay writing :) I also think no one has ever understood the Indian consumer as you do ;) Thanks for enlightening me about Shazahn Padamsee :P :D

Ramesh said...

@kiwi - Advertising has indeed become such an exaggeration that nobody believes any claim anymore. All it does is create brand salience.

@gils - I should join you in making a movie. Me write, you act. OK ??

@zeno - Have I really enlightened the master on something to do wth movies ??? I am much honoured !

Vishal said...

You have really bowled over by enlightening about Shazahn. Really had no clue who she is except for her page 3 endeavours.

Interesting to know that the ruling applied only to US citizens ;) It takes some amount of serious logic to understand the consumerism of Ms Harbans. LOL!

@ Zeno - better watch out, you have got tough competition here, hahaha!

Sandhya Sriram said...

back to breathing oxygen :-)

when i was reading this article in the papers the other day, i was wondering, which is the better model for business to flourish and i feel somehow, It has to be somewhere in between, tending more towards teh Indian model.

all this is cost - maybe all the pretty white ladies together who buy reebok have to bear the cost of the 25 Million settlement and harbans kaur will continue to buy at 5000 Rs with a knowledge that it is a good shoe to walk with.

Seperately, i completely second GILS. "Bagyaraj Script Padicha Epect :-)" maybe i can add - one of the better Bagyaraj script padicha epect.

Deepa said...

Ha ha ha! Sunday post ka paisa vasool. Although I am wondering why Gils and Zeno let you get away with not knowing Kim Kardashian. I faintly remember something about she being the most googled person in the world. (definitely not without the the contribution of our friends to that record of hers) ;-)

Anonymous said...

Butt, butt...isn't this supposed to be a business blog?? :):)
Not sure if Ms.Padamsee's gluteus maximus is firm or not, but Reebok has got its pockets firmer...
Kaurs shall continue buy these,in anticipation of adding some spring to that bounce, may be!

Ramesh said...

@Vishal - Even you didn't know about Mme Padamsee. Wow :):)

@Sandhya - Great to see you back. Btw, Bagyaraj yaaru !!!

@Deepa - I must surely be the only person in the world who hadn't heard of Kim Kardashian , but had heard of Krish Humphries :) If that lady is the most googled person in the world, its a sorry commentary on the human race !!

@Hema - I know I know . This blog has strayed far far away from what it was meant to be.

Class comment. I am simply marvelling at the puns. That's why you are a poet and rest of us can't string a verse.

Reflections said...

Hahaha....the title is misleading....gluteus maximus made me thk u were posting something abt the movie Gladiator and its main character...hahahaaaaa;-D

Ur post reminded me of an incident...the husband went scouting for a pair of running shoes last month. The variety & range made his head spin and the prices made him gag. The sales woman was aggressive and determined to sell him the most expensive pair. My hero....he picked up shoes made for lifting weights[of the same brand] bought at 1/2 the price. The sales lady darkly predicted dire consequences & I was a bit taken in;-(
Its been a month now and he swears tht its the most comfortable shoes he's ever worn;-D
Just imagine the canvas shoes we wore in our fancy anything. And our feet are still going strong...seriously how they play with our minds...anything to sell huh;-(.

Super Post Ramesh & LOL at "This blog has strayed far far away from what it was meant to be.". Thats what makes it more interesting;-D

Anonymous said...

Ofcourse, I was just kidding about the 'business blog' part.
Your posts are as refreshing and interesting as they are!! As Deepa says, full paisa vasool :)
Let your mind free and keep blogging Sire!
We shall follow...

Ramesh said...

@Reflections - We always knew the husband was one of the most sensible of all guys. After all see who he married :)

@Hema - Much honoured.

Sanjay Balachandran said...

Much of advertising takes the same route. The best ones are the tv shopping ones. -hilarious. Who would have thought by drinking health drink you can actually grow taller. And what can someone say about the ones for deos . do write a blog on steve jobs.

Ramesh said...

@Sanjay - Nice to see you back in the comments column. There is always hyperbole in advertising, but as you say , very often it stretches credibility.

Preeti Shenoy said...

Impressed Ramesh :) For someone who claims no interest in Hindi movies whatsoever, you are pretty well informed, I must say. I did not know who Shazahn Padamsee is/ was even though I have watched 'dil toh...' and liked it :P :)

Ramesh said...

@Preeti - Oh no. I know nothing. When I read up for writing this piece I discovered the existence of Mme Padamsee. See what a little reading can helped me pass off as :):)

RamMmm said...

You made Reebok the butt of your joke. And there was no re'butt'al from Reebutt, nay Reebok. :-)

Ramesh said...

@RamMmm - Ha Ha

Appu said...

@Deepa I have never been a fan of Kim or her types :)
@All Kim has applied for Divorce right after 72 days!!

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