Sunday, 16 September 2012

What did you have for lunch ?

Newspapers are falling over themselves in trying to figure out what happened to Manmohan Singh. What has suddenly prompted the slew of economic announcements. And what has made him so brave after all the dithering for so long. While there has been much speculation, I am afraid all the pundits have got it wrong For, you see, in order to understand the behaviour of all our leaders over the last two days, you have to look no further than what they ate.

Firstly Madam Gursharan Kaur has been making Dum(b) Aloo (PJ courtesy Chotu) all this while. She switched two days ago to Makki ki roti and Sarson ka Saag. It is well known that the said food, when washed down with copious amount of buttermilk rather emboldens a certain group of people at 12.00 noon. If you notice, all the policy pronouncements have come out at 12.05 over the last two days.

At the other corner of the country, you may have noticed that there has been no comment from a certain portly lady. For she normally has Thayir sadam on Saturdays and Sundays for brunch. The soporific qualities of this food is rather well known, so the good lady is, I am afraid, fast asleep and hence has not commented.

Her neighbour, a former Prime Minister is in an even deeper sleep. His lunch is usually Ragi Mudde which, has been scientifically proven to be the miracle cure for insomnia - that's why shops in this state open for business at 11.00 AM and then promptly close for the afternoon siesta at 12.30 PM.

One of the ladies closely watched has been cooking copious quantities of Ilish Maach. Now everybody knows that sane humans from outside the state run a hundred miles when a worthy pours mustard oil to start making this dish. Perhaps that's why nobody wants to keep this lady company and perhaps that's also why she says cholbe naa to everything 

A father -son duo, also closely watched are thoroughly confused and not sure what they are doing. This is because their lunch menu comprised of kebabs, kormas, biryani, kaliya, nahari-kulchas, zarda, sheermal, roomali rotis, and warqi parathas. After such a lunch they are walking about in a daze and therefore not very clear of what is happening.

The leader of the opposition has called for a bandh in protest on Thursday. Did you wonder why Thursday ? Because in her household Kadi Pakora is served only on Wednesdays. Now no self respecting person from her region will embark on yelling at two thousand decibels unless fortified with Pakode which has marinated in Kadi for at least 3 days.

What about the firebrand controversial leader from the land of the Mahatma. He is sulking because Vadilal ice cream is not available in the freezer outside his house - all stocks having been diverted to Law Gardens where pencil slim women who are just married are frenetically trying to put on a mountain of weight.

The only lot which are yapping away are the business types who are  falling over themselves in delight. Do you know why ?? On weekdays they have to do business breakfast meetings where they have to slurp corn flakes (yuk)  and shovel scrambled eggs (doubly yuk) in an effort to look corporate. Thankfully at weekends their bibis are serving parathe or idly/dosa which they are allowed to eat with both hands. That bliss is what is causing them to issue orgasmic remarks of delight.

Its all in the food ...........


sriram khe said...

Muahahaha :)

The funny theme of being influenced by what we eat reminded me of a news item from a few months ago, which I tracked down ... (can't help it--a nerd is a nerd is a nerd!)

J said...

So what did you eat for lunch today? :)

Ramesh said...

@sriram - Ha ha. Amazing how "academic rigour" can almost prove anything :)

@J - Touche !

TMM said...

Perhaps an excess of vada paav, patra or usal will induce amnesia as indicated by a worthy minister who claims public will forget. After all you can't make mountains out of a coal hill!

Asha said...

Tasteful post.

from politics to law to economics to sports to food.... is there anything that you don't know.

Relished this post :)

Appu said...

Of all things a food post! avvv! more especially when I(double emphasis)am feeling too hungry and eating a lot but not finding what i want!
when i saw the last few posts and the comments it was more like, all the points one prepared for class participation already being told by some one else! :P :D

gils said...

what did i've for lunch..hmmm...rajma kootu with saadham :D:D bye the bye..chotu would've definitely called MMS as Dumb aalu..

Deepa said...

I read the ET article on Manmohan Singh yesterday and can imagine the Indian retort, 'aaj kya kha liye inhone'! Trust you to cleverly weave it into a post! :D But 'scrambled egg' and doubly yuk??? Cholbe na!

Ramesh said...

@kiwi - Ha Ha. btw, what do kiwis typically eat to become so laid back in life :)

@Asha- Brilliant puns !

@Filipino - Ha Ha, suffering food pangs are you ? Hope you are now adjusted to speaking Tagalog ! Great to see you wading into CP - the stock of all B school students.

BTW be careful that you don't fall into the same trap as Gilsu - these days he is waxing eloquently about Samantha :)

@Gilsu - Now, I wonder who made Rajma for you. Given your culinary talents, I know such an achievement is beyond you. Has Priya come to the US ??:):)

@Deepa - Really scrambled egg ??? - Come on Deepa. Coming from the land of sabudana kichdi, do you really want that other yukky stuff for breakfast :)

Vincy said...

Ramesh, this is cranial nourishment. Smiled all the way through this post at the subtle sarcasm,underlying humour and the terrific pun.

When I was in college, we used to refer specific classmates as "brainy lump". you are one Ramesh. No pun intended here though :-)

TMM said...

What do kiwis eat?? Check out huhu grubs. (google Hokitika wild foods festival or check this out ) Ha!Ha!

Ramesh said...

@Kiwi - Yuk Yuk Yuk !

@Vincy - Much honoured by your kind thought but the word brainy and me should not come in the same sentence.

Sandhya Sriram said...

so, now this is a contest

Country, timezone, food preferences - no bar. only eligibility - must be a "Big Fan" of Ramesh.

whoever guesses what Ramesh ate for lunch before this post, gets a fully sponsored lunch with "The One and Only Ramesh"

please pour in your guesses.

Appu said...

For a moment i was searching where i was in the reply :)
no no still no tagolog still struggling with the language of business #facepalm
I am going to design a site like FB or hotornot where people can voted who did a lot of BS in the class ;)
Samantha was(and) in my desktop :P

Ramesh said...

@Sandhya - Ha ha.

@Filipino - Glad to see you are embracing CP fully in the early days :)

Vishal said...

Looks like eating habits does make a difference, so let me be better with rossogullas and gulab jaamuns ;-) hahaha!

Ramesh said...

@Vishal - Babu moshai - Khub Bhalo :)

Reflections said...

Hahahahaaa....I had so much fun matching all the character[stic]s to food;-D.

Ramesh said...

@Reflections - :):)

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